Hello all!
Since it’s Monday
and all, I felt it appropriate to talk a little about regrets, especially
post-week-end regrets. The most recent of my regrets is not putting on proper, padded
biking pants before biking 40 km on dirt roads on a bike with no suspension and
a seat adjusted for people with legs of a normal length. I don’t know quite how
to explain the discomfort I’m feeling today, but let’s just say that if I wasn’t
a virgin before, I sure am now… (Also, I hope you noticed the very sneaky way I
dropped my extreme sportiness here; Merete, the Queen of Humblebrags. And while
I’m at it, I also ran 7 km this week end. And ate McDonald’s, I’m not a robot.)
My point is
that it is ok to do things you regret, as long as you learn from them. The lesson
learned this week end: Don’t go on a short ride with your friend without
clearly defining “short”. In addition to the great life lesson, I also got lingonberries
and the experience of almost being attacked by a cow out of it, which is a
decent deal for not being able to sit today.
And while I’m
on this handing out life lessons roll, I want to add one that might save you a
lot of pain. And with “a lot” I mean “all the pain you have”. Girls of the
Internet:
If you ever
cut fresh chili peppers, no matter how many times your hands have been washed
and how many hours have passed that day, do not, and I repeat DO NOT attempt to
insert one of those non-applicator tampons. As it turns out, it is very, very
tricky to rinse out your vagina. According to the mighty Wikipedia, vaginal
irrigation (oh yeah, that’s a thing) can be achieved by using a douche bag.
Sadly, the only douche bag I know of is my ex... Wikipedia, you let me down and
I'm very disappointed in you.
So, if you ever have to choose between a chili tampon or no tampon and white pants while meeting the president on live tv, chose the latter.
So, if you ever have to choose between a chili tampon or no tampon and white pants while meeting the president on live tv, chose the latter.
(Disclaimer:
The ex mentioned here is not the one I talked about a few weeks ago. That one
was and is an angel.)
Haha, so true! If you like putting fresh chili peppers in all the food stuffs you make, don´t get a little horny if you´re single and want to do something about said horny-ness (is that a word?). You´re gonna have a bad time! (Although it´s a little easier to rinse the clit, it´s still no fun).
ReplyDeleteHaha, Merete! I'll keep that in mind!
ReplyDeleteSeriously! The pain is indescribable.
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