Friday, August 30, 2013

Friday (No Fact)

Hey guys.

One week ago, I told you that every Friday I would share a fact and an accompanying list. It is not going to happen today, because I’m a busy liar. As further evidence, I can add that I have promised both myself and the two people that read this blog that I would post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and that has clearly not been happening. I apologize for the lie. I also forgive myself and that gives me a forgiveness rate of 1/3 which is not too bad.

Reasons for why I was too busy this week to blog:

1.       My boyfriend of almost two years and I decided to split up. It was a tough decision to make and the main reason I’ve not posted this week. I’m not saying that listing all the ways I abused him for him to read had any part of this, but I would not recommend it none the less. What I’ve learned is that following traumatic experiences, writing amusing story about the time I accidentally stuck a chilly pepper up my vagina is very hard. Stuff that emo pre-teens would love the shit out of on the other hand… You should all thank me for not posting that rubbish. (And don’t worry. The fire-crotch story will be told in due time)

2.       Acupuncture. The morning of my 25th birthday, I woke up with a stabbing pain in my lower back: my first taste of being old. After two weeks of back pain, I decided the only solution to my problem was to have someone stab me with needles. And let me tell you, that was the best decision of my life! I finally understand why people decide to become the needle using kind of druggie. Hey, I don’t know how drugs work; I had a very sheltered upbringing!

3.       I went to the opening concert to the Oslo Philharmonics and the following wine reception, because I’m cultured as shit.

4.       I somehow ended up with the responsibility in charge of 25 young scouts for the next year. I do not know how this happened, but the person responsible for this will sure regret it.

5.       I had to travel for work. The lime production company I work for needed a site assessment done and I had to attend a meeting north in Norway. This in itself is not particularly exciting, but what was exciting is the hotel I stayed at. Let me tell you; this hotel does not mess with breakfast. With my room key I was given a floor map of the breakfast area. I’ve never experienced a meal that is so complex that it needs a detailed map for people to figure it out, so naturally I was beyond excited. Thus, I made the very mature decision of going to bed early so I could wake up with enough time for two breakfasts before my meeting. This means that I’m finally a responsible adult…or a hobbit, sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference. Nonetheless, it was delicious both times. I could go on and on about the artisan cheeses and meats there, or the omelet dude, or the coffee from world champion barista Tim Wendelbo, or the juices made fresh to order (orange and raspberry with a hint of chili pepper), but I’m pretty sure I only need two words to convince you of the superiority of this breakfast: home-made nutella. Convinced!

I know I started this post by telling you that I wouldn’t do Friday Facts this week, no fact and no list. By now, you should have realized the falseness of this statement and if there is one thing we all can learn from today, it is that I should not be trusted.  I guess iIcould go back up and edit the intro and title, but that sounds liek a lot of work and there is salsa to be eaten.

If you had any experiences that led to a busy or eventful week, I would love to hear about them. No matter what I’ll be back Monday. I promise!


  1. I'm gonna go with Hobbit given your height. Also possible hairy feet. -ty

    1. Hey! I thought we agreed on keeping my hairy feet a secret!

  2. It is already Wedensday. Where is Monday's posts? Need more posts.

    1. Sorry Henriette! I fail at interneting. It's up now, though.

  3. Hei Merete! I'm not sure we can claim much cultural enlightenment from that concert though, considering we probably spent more time ogling the conductor than actually listening to the super-fancy contemporary stuff. Or maybe that was just me.

    1. No, I’m pretty sure you can…
      Example: Looking at pictures of naked people: Renaissance art: cultural enlightenment. Porn: not cultural enlightenment.
      Thus: Looking at hot guys: not culturally enlightening. Looking at hot guys preforming classical music: culturally enlightening.
      Scientific reasoning ftw.