Friday, August 29, 2014

Again with the chili peppers?

First off: I know the rules you guys (I made them after all); Fridays are for Friday Fun Facts and there are no fun facts to be found this Friday. I’m not even going to apologize for this infraction, because sometimes you have to live a little and not care what other people think. Who would have thunk? I’m such a rebel that I don’t even follow my own rules.

The real reason for this deviation is that I can’t for the life of me think of a fifth element to the list I had planned for today. I might not be grammatically perfect all the time or the most consistent poster, but I do have standards. Posting an incomplete list, that would just not do. There are certain rules that even I can''t find it in myself to break.

Three is also an acceptable number. 
For the past year or so, I have had multiple locations I've called home. For the most part, I’ve been living at home with my parents with the occasional week or week-end in my sister’s apartment whenever she’s been travelling for work. Then, I had a three month period of residing in a friend’s apartment in Oslo. All by myself! It was wonderful and amazing and every once in a while: boring. I was spoiled with being used to having three brothers and two parents to go annoy whenever I had down time.

For the first time in my life I was living completely by myself and I realized that there is a special kind of fear that is reserved solely for those who don’t co-habit. Since I’m somewhat vertically challenged, my time in the kitchen has always been 60% cooking and 35% climbing on furniture like a monkey, trying to get to things that are out of reach (the last 5% is bumping into stuff and getting bruises). During one of these climbs, I was paralyzed by the sudden fear of what would happen if I fell and got seriously injured. How long would it take before anyone found my mangled corpse? What if I was alive, but immobilized, how long would I have to lie on that cold floor before being rescued by emergency personnel? Would the hot paramedics judge or love the fuzzy onesie I was wearing? Why could I never learn to wash my hair at regular intervals (shorter than two weeks)? I feel like there is a finite number of gorgeous strangers you can meet then forget the name of because you’re obsessing about your unreasonably greasy hair before you learn to take care of your grooming like a grown up.

Sisters in matching footies. Bets Walmart buy ever!
There are other challenges to solo-living as well and here is a little tidbit I wrote back in February:

Yesterday, I made a very important discovery. I’ve always dreamed about living by myself, because then there would be no people around and I could be alone all the time. *dreamy gaze* No people = no pants = heaven.
I store my pants and pj's with my coats. True story

However, I discovered that this gold medal has a dark and painful backside. I was doing some late night cooking; making chili, rocking out to the Frozen soundtrack, and generally having a great time. Later that night, I found myself glaring at myself in the bathroom mirror. After the most productive day in forever (groceries, cooking, laundry, baking, trying to buy tickets to an event, but being deterred because the crown princess was throwing a party there), I should have been high fiving myself and doing my happy booty shake instead of giving myself the stink eye.

Let me tell you, no matter how hard you glare, your useless brain will never be able to find a way of removing your contacts without using your chili pepper soaked hands. Seeing as I have a rather uncomfortable history with chili peppers, you would have thought I had learned my lesson: use plastic gloves or avoid at all cost. Long story short: it was ugly and painful and I’d rather never talk about it again. Learning from past mistakes, who needs that when the content of your blog is dependent on you failing at everyday life?

In related news: I’m in the process of moving in with my sister. Weeeee! …  I think. It’s either going to be great or I will get killed, that remains to be seen. If nothing else, at least I’ll have someone to remove my contacts if need be.

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Monday, August 25, 2014

I am back! With a picture of my back!

Sometimes I wear fancy topknots, in lieu of my usual messy bun.
Photo: the amazing Lise Martine Halle
Dude! I’m back! Don’t know for how long or how often, but if we just stay in the present, like the teachings of mindfulness tells us, then I’m here right now and that is all that matters. (Although, the present moment of me writing this is not the same as the moment of you reading this, which makes me confused about which “right now” I am talking about. This whole mindfulness-business is really confusing to me, my company does not get their money’s worth in regards to my life coach’s fee, I think. Also, I’m not quite sure how I started writing about mindfulness, do you remember? This whole writing business in general is very confusing, with the tenses and the time lapse between reading and writing and the “not writing long and complicated sentences” and the delicate subtleties of the English language, not to mention . You know what, were just going to pretend that this whole parenthesis did not happen. I can’t remember what it was supposed to be about and at this point I really don’t know where it ended. Let’s just agree to move on to the next paragraph and never mention this confusing monster of a parenthesis again. Deal!)

One of the pros of being away for a long time is that stuff has happened in my life, so I might actually have some content to put on here. The con is that I’m getting older and thus my memory is starting to fail me, so I’ll probably not remember the good stuff. As an exciting preview, I guess I can mention that since January, I’ve been to multiple countries, I’ve ran a lot and gotten weird semi-running-related injuries, I’ve been on awkward dates, I’ve made food and drinks, I’ve consumed a lot of food and drinks, and I’ve watched 8 seasons of Supernatural . I’ll go in more detail about all this later. (Note to self: this right here can be used as a list for future blog posts. And since everyone know that having a topic is at least 50% of the work, that means that these posts are more or less going to write themselves. ) (Note to self 2: Should probably stop ending all paragraphs with a parenthesis.)(Note to self 3: And no more“note to self”s, just cut it.)

In the last 4 days, two very exciting things have happened in my life:
1.    Since June 2013, I’ve never had better internet connection than Edge on my phone. I just assumed that my company had a crappy deal with the phone company, and went on living my merry life with the slowest internet imaginable. It turned out that there was a setting on my phone, and now I have super-fast internet on my phone and it is like I’ve finally joined the rest of the world in this millennium. 
If you’re wondering about the placement of my apps, it’s because my phone screen is too big for my stubby, little fingers to reach across. This placement allows me to reach all apps while still keeping a secure grip on the device. And yeah; my apps are color coordinated, shoot me.

2.    Yesterday, I discovered that there is a season of Doctor Who on Netflix that I’ve yet to see. “Geronimo” I yelled, as I threw myself and a big bag of chips on the couch, settling in for a serious marathon. And let me tell you, there are some abilities that you learn from training towards running a marathon that will leave you so much better equipped for a Netflix marathon. Bladder control and stamina (after all, you don’t want to fall asleep)are the first two that comes to mind.

I basically checked in today to say that you can add me to your list of blogs to check, because Topknotted is not dormant anymore. And if you’re using Bloglovin, you can always follow my blog there and then you never have to check here ever. Follow my blog with Bloglovin

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