Friday, August 29, 2014

Again with the chili peppers?

First off: I know the rules you guys (I made them after all); Fridays are for Friday Fun Facts and there are no fun facts to be found this Friday. I’m not even going to apologize for this infraction, because sometimes you have to live a little and not care what other people think. Who would have thunk? I’m such a rebel that I don’t even follow my own rules.

The real reason for this deviation is that I can’t for the life of me think of a fifth element to the list I had planned for today. I might not be grammatically perfect all the time or the most consistent poster, but I do have standards. Posting an incomplete list, that would just not do. There are certain rules that even I can''t find it in myself to break.

Three is also an acceptable number. 
For the past year or so, I have had multiple locations I've called home. For the most part, I’ve been living at home with my parents with the occasional week or week-end in my sister’s apartment whenever she’s been travelling for work. Then, I had a three month period of residing in a friend’s apartment in Oslo. All by myself! It was wonderful and amazing and every once in a while: boring. I was spoiled with being used to having three brothers and two parents to go annoy whenever I had down time.

For the first time in my life I was living completely by myself and I realized that there is a special kind of fear that is reserved solely for those who don’t co-habit. Since I’m somewhat vertically challenged, my time in the kitchen has always been 60% cooking and 35% climbing on furniture like a monkey, trying to get to things that are out of reach (the last 5% is bumping into stuff and getting bruises). During one of these climbs, I was paralyzed by the sudden fear of what would happen if I fell and got seriously injured. How long would it take before anyone found my mangled corpse? What if I was alive, but immobilized, how long would I have to lie on that cold floor before being rescued by emergency personnel? Would the hot paramedics judge or love the fuzzy onesie I was wearing? Why could I never learn to wash my hair at regular intervals (shorter than two weeks)? I feel like there is a finite number of gorgeous strangers you can meet then forget the name of because you’re obsessing about your unreasonably greasy hair before you learn to take care of your grooming like a grown up.

Sisters in matching footies. Bets Walmart buy ever!
There are other challenges to solo-living as well and here is a little tidbit I wrote back in February:

Yesterday, I made a very important discovery. I’ve always dreamed about living by myself, because then there would be no people around and I could be alone all the time. *dreamy gaze* No people = no pants = heaven.
I store my pants and pj's with my coats. True story

However, I discovered that this gold medal has a dark and painful backside. I was doing some late night cooking; making chili, rocking out to the Frozen soundtrack, and generally having a great time. Later that night, I found myself glaring at myself in the bathroom mirror. After the most productive day in forever (groceries, cooking, laundry, baking, trying to buy tickets to an event, but being deterred because the crown princess was throwing a party there), I should have been high fiving myself and doing my happy booty shake instead of giving myself the stink eye.

Let me tell you, no matter how hard you glare, your useless brain will never be able to find a way of removing your contacts without using your chili pepper soaked hands. Seeing as I have a rather uncomfortable history with chili peppers, you would have thought I had learned my lesson: use plastic gloves or avoid at all cost. Long story short: it was ugly and painful and I’d rather never talk about it again. Learning from past mistakes, who needs that when the content of your blog is dependent on you failing at everyday life?

In related news: I’m in the process of moving in with my sister. Weeeee! …  I think. It’s either going to be great or I will get killed, that remains to be seen. If nothing else, at least I’ll have someone to remove my contacts if need be.

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