Friday, January 3, 2014

Not dead!


Hello and happy new year to all!


For many, the new year symbolizes endless new opportunities and possibilities, hopes and dreams to be achieved, and weight and grievances to be lost. Here at Topknotted, I see it as a great and doomed time to start blogging again. It’s not the second time that is the charm after all, but I’ll give it a go. No scheduled mon-wed-fri posting that will surely fail again though. 

This Christmas was great, like always, but it’s safe to say that my heart was not what grew two sizes. Like most girls, my boobs have a mind of their own and their size changes according to the time of the month. Usually not by a whole lot, but enough to notice if you pay attention. (I feel like I just gave the entire internet permission to monitor my boobs, that's a little unfortunate.) Anyways, right before Christmas they decided to outgrow all of their bras. Initially I was pleased, because who wouldn’t want some help filling in all those dresses during the festivities? Three weeks later and I’m eagerly awaiting the transformation back to their normal state of reduced size and reduced tenderness.


So, after that charming story I thought I could top this post of with a list of the important life lessons I learned in 2013. It’s rather short, because I don’t really learn from my mistakes. 



What I learned in 2013


1.   Waiting to watch Doctor Who until after graduation is always a good idea. I would really like to say that the main reason for my blogging hiatus was that I was busy being an exemplary worker doing a ton of overtime, socializing with friends, and volunteering all my spare time at some great charity. Although there is a morsel of truth in all of those statements, I would be lying if I said that was the cause. No, the reason is that I started watching Doctor Who, and consequently found the man of my dreams, realized that visual media can be just as rewarding as books, and my scare of the dark got magnified by a gazillion. Tonight, I’m going to watch the first episode of Sherlock season three and BBC will officially have full control over my life.


I don't think I would have graduated if this was in my life a year ago
2.   Remembering names during an introduction is always a good idea. Not only did I find the perfect man the past year, I also found my future husband. It was a dark and breezy morning amidst the majestic mountains of western Norway, the day my fate forever change I wish...As it turns out, there is a limit to the task my brain can perform simultaneously while somewhat sleep-deprived. I found that limit during the previously described morning. Just put it in front of the most handsome human being ever to exist, and maximum capacity is reached when trying to pronounce my long name and even longer company name without drooling and obsessing over the fact that my hair wash was three days overdue. So, I left this fateful encounter without a trace of his name left in my brain. 

One of the main disadvantages of working solely with middle-aged men is that they never know that it’s common courtesy to warn young, single co-workers about potential hotness. A quick hair-wash would have eliminated one of the brain processes and I would probably have been engaged by now.
  
Anyways, the brain failed me and the first of the five stages of grief kicked in during the flight back home quickly followed by anger. Luckily, the bargaining phase consisted of a lot of things I’m not proud of and I finally managed to stalk him down in December. Joy to the world indeed! Only to find out that he has a girlfriend. I’ll consider this sad chapter of my life closed when my phone stops predicting "husband" as soon as I type "future".

The five stages of grief, in case you needed a refresher. Source


3.   With a little imagination, you can always turn your crazy into something constructive. Some people say signing up for a half marathon because a guy you met once runs marathons and he might be there screams "restraining order". I say it’s a very effective way of quitting the apathetic cycle of procrastination and finally do something you’ve secretly been wanting to do for a while. 
But maybe I'll finish that half... Source


As you all can see, between the hearbreak, the Doctor, and the running, I have some farily good reasons for my absence. But don't worry, I'm back, and I have a feeling there'll be plenty more awkward boob stories in 2014.


That’s all for now folks,





6 comments :

  1. Big, tender boobs? You could be pregnant. Just think how happy your mom will be! :D

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  2. wow, you are all for sharing eh??? dont include me in your stoires!!!

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  3. Yay! Another Whovian! And yes, the Doctor is the man of my dreams as well. My husband and I have an understanding that if a blue police box were to suddenly appear in our backyard, he will just help me pack and not get in my way. lol

    Happy 2014 friend. Hope things are going well for you so far!

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    1. I need to find myself one of those! Luck you!

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