Friday, September 20, 2013

Friday facts: I think I might be the next David Attenborough, furr real. Part 1

Friday fact: I like things with fur, which is probably why I hardly ever shave my legs. It's not because I'm lazy, promise!
So, today I've compiled a list of some of the cool, furry animals I've seen.

The most exciting wild animals I’ve seen. Part 1

1.      Monkeys. In Kathmandu, monkeys were about as common as squirrels in Central Park. Monkeys are fun, because sometimes they look like people and other times people look like them. The one on the picture is called Herbert and he can be a little bitey. One of the things I’m really good at is imitating monekys, because I have a lot of experience. I practiced once a week for years and if you don’t believe me, check out my resume.

2.      Wild turkeys. When I first started dating the former boyfriend, we would see exciting wildlife every time we went for a longer drive. I was convinced it was one of the benefits of being in a relationship. I was pretty upset no one had told me about this, because then I could have found someone much earlier and seen way more cool shit. Just imagine, if I had been in a relationship in Nepal, I would probably have seen Bigfoot while trekking the Himalayas! It’s like there is this whole world that is excluded from the singles. A would full of foot rubs and exotic animals. Anyways, wild turkeys are funny because they’re ugly and that’s a fact.

3.     European mink. In the golden days of my childhood, minkswould sneak around our cabin on the west coast, looking for the fish heads we hadn’t eaten. I should probably clarify this a little: The fish heads my grandfather had not eaten. My grandfather had a much more frugal upbringing than me, because before we found oil, most people in Norway lived in houses with dirt floors. Although I'm a pretty tough viking myself, I'm nothing compared to thet generation. I would probably not have survived my early twenties and college without coffee. My grand father survived the war on coffee substitute made from roasted peas. He

      He claims that the head is the best part of the fish, but I know this is a lie, because his favorite part is the eye, the lens in particular. He sucks on it like it some delishious hard candy, before he after a while spits it out on his plate with a loud ping.

      My mother used to catch the fish head eating minks when she was young, drown them and sell the pelt. This might sound disturbing, but the fact that her father considers fish eyes candy makes her somewhat gruesome way of getting her hands on some cash very understandable. If clubbing baby seals was the only way for me to get chocolate, I would and enjoy it too.

4.      Reindeer. I included these mostly for the American audience, because they are quite common here and therefore not as exciting to spot. But more exciting than moose and deer, sothere’s that. Reindeer makes for scrumptious meals and their fur is excellent for boots and sitting. All in all a pretty decent animal
These are all over Norway.

5.       Musk oxes. I have a musk ox poo in my room, no shit y’all! I suspect that sounded way more impressive in my head. I’m glad I don’t have any readers, because I really don’t want to be “that crazy chick that brags about her musk ox poo” again. That period is a closed chapter of my life and I don’t want to talk about it.

That’s all for tonight, folks!


  1. Musk ox poo? I want to know this story!!!

  2. i heard some rumors about a "favorite brother(the one with the amazing back-rub and a handsome face(phone number available if requested)) guest post: part 1" When is this coming out?